After England slumped to a whitewash against India in the ODI series, former England captains Nasser Hussain and Michael Vaughan have been admitted in mental hospitals, after reportedly showing signs of ‘crystal-clear insanity’. The idea of their insanity was first mooted by Sourav Ganguly on India’s tour of England, when Vaughan alleged that ‘India don’t deserve their number one status and have a mutual understanding with ICC to stay on top, irrespective of the results’.
The doctors from the Green Lane Hospital where the two former captains have been admitted elaborated on the matter, “It must be the rout that England suffered in India that has pushed them over the edge. They had been showing signs for some time now- Vaughan with his ridiculous tweets, and Hussain with his infamous donkey-gate.”
Navjot Singh Sidhu offered his enlightening(?) comments, despite our insistence not to. “My friends, if you are on the same sinking boat, you better hug each other tightly, or you shall go down into the depths of hitherto unearthed depths of the ocean!” Believe it or not, we were just as confused as you are. He continued, “It is the emergence of star performers like the talented(?) Ravindra Jadeja, that has shocked them into insanity. In fact, I think Jadeja will one day surpass Sachin Tendulkar as the greatest batsman ever, mark my words!” At this point, it was clear who should accompany Hussain and Vaughan in the mental institution.
When we finally caught up with the duo, they were visibly agitated with the charges against them. “We are not insane! We may be donkeys, but definitely not insane!”, Hussain claimed. Vaughan said, “BCCI definitely had something to do with this, I am sure. I am going to sue everyone, from Sharad Pawar to Barack Obama, when I come out.”
In other unrelated news, Amir Ajmal Kasab has decided to run for the elections, citing the tainted CVs of most ministers and politicians. Anna Hazare has thus decided to sit on yet another fast, and has demanded that Kasab be included in the Lokpal Bill.
PS: Just in case, you thought all this was real, it is clear that sarcasm is not your cup of tea.